2006-03-28 - 9:05 a.m.

It's always interesting running into someone you haven't seen in awhile....

Sunday, I ran into a girl I used to go to high school with. I hadn't really seen her since graduation ('93). We stumbled upon one another in the fabric store.

*SIDE NOTE* Fuck, I feel old.

She

*SIDE NOTE* I will refer to her as "Loretta". It's not her real name, but she kind of looks like a Loretta...wait, I have a cousin Loretta, that's not nice, wait, she looks like a Loretta, too....Loretta it is.

was pushing a cart full of items to create a quilt for a friend having a baby and I was carrying my wedding dress (in the form of a couple of bolts of fabric and tulle).

*SIDE NOTE* I AM GETTING MARRIED TWO MONTHS FROM YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Loretta: Oh my gosh! How are you!?! I haven't seen you in so long!
PR: Hey! I'm great! How are you?

*SIDE NOTE* What I was thinking, was "Dammit. I should have put on makeup...." Why is it, when you look your worst, you run into people you don't want to look your worst around?

Loretta: Oh, you know, I used to be all thin and pretty in high school and now I am just a mom....

*SIDE NOTE* "thin and pretty" are definitely terms used loosely. Loretta was our class president...she was a bitch, and she wasn't thin and she wasn't all that pretty.

Loretta: I homeschool my kids, and go to church and do crafts....and I got really fat....
PR: Good for you...that's great...you're not fat....you look fine.

*SIDE NOTE* Pink Revolver is good at lifting people up when they are down....

Loretta: I know when we were in high school, I was voted most likely to become famous and I was always on stage and singing and I was the class president and I did...blah blah blah....

*SIDE NOTE* Pink Revolver checked out for a moment.

Loretta:...and now I'm just a mom and I do crafts and I sing at church sometimes.

She continued to go back and forth with "Remember what I was like in high school" and "This is who I am now", as if she were embarrassed by her life currently.

It was really sad, actually, that she continued to refer to high school and who she was in high school. Who the hell cares? It was HIGH SCHOOL and it doesn't matter that you were voted most likely to become famous and you are now a mom of 4 or that I was voted Class Clown and am doing what I am doing now. It doesn't matter.

I felt sorry for her. Not because she is a mom who home schools

*SIDE NOTE* Maybe the home school part, but that's more for her kids than her....

and goes to church and enjoys crafts. But because in her mind, her biggest success in life was her status in High School.

I admire moms. I want to be a mom. And stay-at-home moms are the most brilliant, amazing people God ever put on this earth! The moms who decide to stay home with their kids and can, are seriously, my hero. It made me sad she was embarrassed by her life, and it made me sad her greatest accomplishments in life had nothing to do with the fact that her kids are beautiful

*SIDE NOTE* I endured picture after picture..."yes, beautiful...oh, what a doll." --threw up a little in my mouth--

or even that she can sew an amazing quilt for a friend....
Her greatest reference and accomplishments in life were in High School.

She proceeded to tell me about our high school reunion and who came out of the closet and who was this way and that way--total gossip train. Loretta bragged how she argued with one of our gay friends who professed to be a Christian that she couldn't possibly be a Christian and be gay.

*SIDE NOTE* I think that's bullshit.

She was more proud of the fact she argued on the gay Christian topic than her kids or her life.

*SIDE NOTE* I could go off on how ridiculous I think that argument is, but I will spare you and hope you are not an asshole Christian who pushes your beliefs on other people, especially people you haven't had a relationship with in 10yrs.

She finally asked me about my life and I filled her in on brief highlights, but nothing too intense--talked about our non-profit (www.141pdx.org) because I always take every opportunity to plug it, my upcoming nuptials and some of my travels, whatever....I could see in her face defeat, which is not what I wanted, at all. What I wanted was her to say, "I'm a mom and I love it. I homeschool my kids because we think it's so important. I love creating things for my friends....I love my husband." She finished our conversation with, "You look really great--really happy. It sounds like you are busy and happy."

PR: Thanks. I am really happy. I love my life....
Loretta: It was good to see you. (She said with a forced smile)
PR: Yeah, you too.

We walked away from each other...as she disappeared into the aisles of fabric, I watched her and hoped she would find satisfaction in today. Pride in today. Hope for tomorrow. Love and pride in her children.

I don't mean for this blog to be snotty or self-righteous, that's not the purpose.

I am thankful for my life, today.

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